Marketing The Xbox One After An Ass Kicking

So, as we all know Microsoft’s Xbox One just had its a** handed to it while being publicly humiliated by Sony but not everything is as it seems. So i’m going to take this time to go over the 3 main points of annoyance and explain why all the negative points about the Xbox One are actually good things here i come xbox’s marketing team! hire me!

Q: Always online? 24 hour check-ins?
A: Well, At least we can be sure that our high scores on call of duty 8999 will always be correct…. no cheating here…. and no we’re not over version 9000 yet so don’t say it

Q: Kinect Camera 2?
A: Don’t worry its k.i.n.e.c.t not h.a.l and besides all it does is take photos of you while your sleeping and send them to Microsoft in the name of enhancing the user experience are you making sad faces while playing halo? yes? no? dont worry we’ll fix that!

Q: Used Game Sharing?
A: This is actually really great news! it means the annoying 12 year olds kids playing 18+ games and swearing their heads off will no longer be able to afford the game disks and annoy us actual age appropriate gamer yes i’m looking at  all the cod fans out there!

With that said, any Microsoft exec’s reading this hook me up with a high paid job in your marketing department 😉 you know you want too.

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